I got to work at exactly 8:02am. I was quietly celebrating making it to work almost on time. My co-worker asked me something, my memory doesn't recall what anymore. I walked to get water for my oatmeal, and went to start my audiobook, when I saw there was a message from Roger.
Roger: Alan Rickman has died. 69, Cancer.
I froze and my heart stopped.
Me: No !! No. Just no!
I checked the News... I don't believe things until I see them on NRP. Went to the App. Nothing. Checked Yahoo! Nothing. Last, because least reliable to me, CNN. There it was. Alan Rickman dead at 69.
I went to Twitter, and nothing, but rubbish on Oscar nominations. Then it appeared Katie Couric posted the News Article saying Alan Rickman had died. My heart felt like it broke in a million pieces. Then all of the sudden, everybody started posting it. As I sat panicking at my computer screen wishing for it to be a dream, a terrible dream.
I was at work, in my computer, with tears in my eyes for a man I never met, for a man who never even knew of my existence. I was panicking a little bit, and went to send a message to my sister, who is my rock, telling her I was really sad about Alan Rickman's passing. She just replied that she saw.
This was one of those moments in which nothing seems to matter, a great man is dead and everything just is completely meaningless. The Oscars noms are coming.... who cares.... There is two giant stacks of files that need audited on my desk.... who cares.... I have to eat something .... I'm not hungry.....
I first saw Alan Rickman on Harry Potter, because I didn't grow up in the United States, I had never heard of him before. I know I'm weird, but I loved him from the moment I saw him as Snape. His deep voice, frightening, yet, comforting, calming, yet alarming, condescending, yet reassuring. I loved the look he had in the movie, the hair, the all black outfit, the complete "I don't care who this Harry Potter kid is" attitude.
Then I saw him in Dogma, and loved him all over again. Then I was mad, and jealous of him giving his attention to the young girl on Love Actually, but I still loved him. Saw all the Harry Potter Movies and crushed for him... he made all the movies bearable.
I haven't seen many of his movies, only because I don't watch a lot of Television, but he has always been one of my absolute favorite actors. I used to wish that I could go on a date with him, and just hear him talk about whatever he wanted to.
I read this post from Jenny Lawson, who also loved Alan Rickman. And it made me cry all over again.
I have only cried for 3 celebrities dying. Selena, Joan Sebastian and Now Alan Rickman.
I considered leaving work, because I couldn't manage to keep myself from crying for an actor I never met.... but then realized that I can't call off sick because Alan Rickman died. I wish I could, but my job wouldn't like it.
Dear Alan Rickman, voice of god, May you wonderful creature Rest in Peace. You will be very dearly missed.