Mother, Run, Hike

I've been divorced for 4 years now. And Alternate holiday weekends still suck!! For any of you who are not divorced, and don't have to memorize a Custody schedule for your child... let me give you a brief explanation. Shared custody of a child means that my son summer holidays get alternated year to year.... last year he was with me for Memorial Day, and Labor Day. This year he goes with his Dad and  I get him for 4th of July. This was supposed to be my weekend, but instead, my son gets to spend the holiday weekend with his Dad. I'm sad about it, but the only thing I can do about it is deal with it. So I'm planning on running a couple of races to stop torturing myself psychologically , and push myself Physically instead. Roger and I will be driving out to the beach for the weekend, but not before I can have some more torture. A baseball game was cancelled two weeks ago, and the coaches picked the Friday before the holiday weekend to make it up..... Yes, because nob...

Long, long ago, before I started doing zumba, before I started the running, while I was married and constantly stressed out, I used to have a long parade of negative thoughts running trough my inner monologue. I didn't realize this, or the effect this was having on my self esteem and my attitude towards everybody around me. When I started doing Zumba, I was at an all time low. Demoted from work, had been sick for 1 week, then my son had been sick, I had fallen while carrying my son and he had a huge bruise on his forehead... so my inner monologue was at a ultimate time high. The thoughts constantly on my mind were along the lines of " You are the worst mom ever, you are so fat, you are so stupid, you are useless". I was not fat, or overweight, but I was at my highest weight ever. After having my son and breastfeeding him for 8 months, my metabolism never re-adjusted to the amount of food I was eating. So I was constantly hungry, but not burning anything off. The saddest...