Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

I used to be a very angry person, like the type of angry person nobody wanted to be near if I lost my temper. That was before I started doing Zumba 5 years ago. I have a terrible knack to tell people very honest and mean opinions, that nobody would want to hear. I was the person who would straight out tell somebody that they sucked, that they were dumb, and to stop wasting my time. And I would also punish people for doing something that made me angry.

Last night I was very mad. I went to my scheduled zumba class at 6:30, thinking that Susan would be doing the lesson. Then Dana showed up. I've done classes with Dana before, and I hated them. I was already there, changed and had my sister was with me.

Dana's style of zumba is not my favorite. In fact, it leave me feeling sad, angry and unsatisfied.

So, as I was forcing myself to stay in Zumba and not walk out in the middle of some lame slow hip hop song, the old vengeful person who used to be me came into my head "That's is! I'm cancelling my monthly Membership!".

I was mad. This was supposed to be fun, this was supposed to be a sweaty, butt shaking hour! In which I forgot that I was there to work out, instead of being angry and upset at one person.

I kept doing the math in my head, thinking that I am done with their schedule changes, done with the lame songs Dana had. Done with the way the keep moving zumba classes out of my reach! I kept imagining walking to Denise and Susan and telling them "after this month, cancel my membership".  Just because I wanted them to feel the hurt and stress I was feeling!

It's been less than 24 hours, and I'm still mad. Tomorrow I plan to sit down and count the times I will go to zumba, now that Tuesday is not an option, and decide if it's worth it for me to keep my membership, if I pay as a Walk in Member.

I also wonder if I told Susan and Denise that this hurt me, if they would be willing to make a change... but I know deep inside that they don't always care what other members want or to keep us happy. Because they have plans for their business, and only they know how what their goals are.  And this is a shame, because I never thought I would be one to consider canceling my membership.

I love Art In Motion Fitness, Denise and Susan always put on a great playlist, a great sweaty and awesome session of zumba. But I feel sad and mad  by the instructor change. I know it's silly, but there is NO POINT on continuing doing zumba with Dana, if it's going to make me hate that 1 hour of my week. I can't hold on to things that don't make me feel good.  I recognize they are doing what is best for their studio, to keep the place open. But I also have to do what is best for me.