Thursday, July 06, 2017

Why Do You Ask?

This are all very common questions that we all get, a lot more than they should be allowed. And because of that, those are things I do not ask other people, hoping they will pick up on it and not ask me.

So, Is your sister seeing anybody?

Real answer : No. She is not interested in dating.
Answer I give people : No, she is not interested in dating and She doesn't need a man to validate her life.

My younger sister doesn't date, I used to wonder why, then I stopped because is rude of me to assume she wants to date, or to give her value based on who she is going to dinner with. My sister is a strong, smart and beautiful woman, she likes her job and does not need a man (or woman ) to complete her life.

When is your sister going to have a baby?

Real Answer : Never. She doesn't like kids.
Answer I give people : she does not need a child to validate her life.

Everything I said above.


When are YOU going to have another kid?

Real answer : I can't afford it right now, and I am a selfish person.

Answer I give people : Not anytime soon, but I'm accepting donations for the medical bills and life responsibilities that come with bringing a new human into the world.

I love my son, I hate when he goes to his Dad's, but I also use that time to clean ... ja ja ja.. ok, I don't use it to clean... I use it to run errands, run, explore new places. I also need my sleep, and cannot imagine doing the 3 am feedings and the diapers all over. And to be real real honest, I can't add the expense of a child to my life right now.


When are you going to look for another job?

Real answer: Never
Answer I give people : Why? Did you hear something? Am I getting fired? Did my office call you to tell you I suck at my job?

My job pays me very well for the field I am in. There is some room to grow, and training is available. I have been here long and know the work, the people, the day to day operations. I hope to retire from here at 72 < and replaced by robots.

Questions that I would like to be asked instead:

What book are you reading?
How much did you run this week?
What is your favorite Starbucks Frappuccino?
Wasn't Wonder Woman Amazing?
Did you like the latest Bunbury album?


And for this post questions...
What book are you reading?
How much did you run this week?
What is your favorite Starbucks Frappuccino?
Wasn't Wonder Woman Amazing?
Did you like the latest Bunbury album?
What other questions bother you?


11 comments:

  1. BEST POST EVER!!!!! I really miss the days before Andrew and I had Callum! Our kids would go to our exes houses and then we'd get to date all over again! Lay out on the beach, get drunk, be irresponsible, and then resume parenting roles when our kids came back.

    The most common question I get asked now is, "You know there's a cure for that, right?" when referring to how many kids we have. So, they're pretty much implying that this baby is a sickness. NICE. THANKS. My real answer is: Yes, I am aware of birth control but we both really wanted Callum to have a sibling because of how it works here when all the kids leave and Callum is so sad and alone. But then they don't deserve an honest answer because they're dicks for making such a rude comment so I just smile and say "yeah..haha" and walk away.

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    1. People are so rude! If it's not "When are you having kids?" it's "why do you have so many kids?"

      I'm glad you walk away, those people don't deserve your time or attention! you are doing what you want to do for your life and your family! Callum is going to LOVE his brother! I can't wait to see those post!

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  2. I love this! I think people are curious and MOST of the time, they don't MEAN to be rude when asking questions. But still, there are some questions that are rude for someone who is not a close friend to ask. I feel like a close friend should be allowed to ask pretty much anything as long as they don't ask in a judge-y way, you know?

    But anyway, I mostly get asked if I think we'll ever change our mind about not having kids (although I get that question less and less because we have been married 9 years and I will be 35 on Saturday so I think they get the message!), and also why I didn't take Paul's last name. I will give you my real answer and my snarky answer.

    Q: Do you think you'll ever change your mind about not having kids.
    Real Answer: I am 99.9% sure I will NEVER change my mind. I include that last .01% because is anything REALLY 100% sure in life? But I am more sure about this decision than any other decision I have made in my life.
    Snarky Answer: Do you think you'll ever change your mind and wish you DIDN'T have kids???

    Q: Why didn't you take Paul's last name?
    Real Answer: I like my name and I don't see any reason why I should change it just because I got married. My real name also ties me to my parents, who are the reason I am who I am and I have accomplished what I accomplished.
    Snarky Answer: BECAUSE I AM A BAT SHIT CRAZY LIBERAL FEMINIST WHO WOULD RATHER DIE THAN BE CALLED MRS. PAUL COONEY. :)

    I once read that when people ask you inappropriate questions, your response should be, "Why do you ask?" That puts the onus back on them to reflect about whether their question was rude or not. I think the person who wrote that article had a close family member who committed suicide and people would ask her how he killed himself. Now, I will be honest, I would be curious to know too, but you don't just ASK SOMEONE THAT!!! It's so rude. So when people would ask her that, she would respond with, "Why do you ask?" and then the person who asked the question would think to themselves... oh shit, yeah, that is an insensitive thing to ask!

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    1. I can accept that somebody is curious, I just feel that as women, we are asked more questions that put our value on the amount of children we have, and our partner in life. I ask my brothers more often than my sisters.

      HOw many times are you asked that question?

      I love that you are my bat shit crazy liberal feminist friend!! You have a very valid point on staying Megan Michael !

      the people asking me this questions are mostly people at work that I have known for years,

      That is a very valid point on asking back, I'm going to try that next time!

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    2. I agree, women are asked more! I am really not asked the kids question much anymore. I would say at this point I get asked th ed last name q more often. And it's framedas"oh you didn't take your husband's last name did you?"

      Delete
  3. I must not be very interesting because nobody (as in adults) asks me questions. However, since the very first day I started teaching until current day I always have students ask me what happened to my face. Some ask politely and some say " what happened to you " or "what's wrong with you".

    I have a huge scar on my face from where I got bit by a dog when I was younger. I had plastic surgery back then but of course they could only do so much. It never bothered me back then and never did any of my classmates ever question me on it. It's funny that now as an adult, I get questioned about it all the time. I really got fed up last year so I finally went to the plastic surgeon to see about getting reconstructive surgery. In the end, the new surgery would leave another scar so to me it wasn't worth it.

    My favorite Starbucks flavor was Strawberry shortcake but it was a limited edition flavor and they haven't brought it back yet. I also like Waffle cone!

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    1. I didn't know any of that about you! I can't even tell that you have a scar! "What is wrong with you " is a very harsh way to ask a question! I'm sorry you have to put up with that!

      I love the halloween frappuccino! it is too yummy!!

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  4. Ugh... so annoying about the prying questions. And it's weird that people feel the need to ask you about your sisters. Can't they just ask them directly? I hate the questioning about kids... it can be such a sensitive subject and it doesn't seem like there's ever a good reason to ask it. Wonder Woman was amazing and my favorite Starbucks drink is a chai latte :)

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    1. Those who have asked me about my sister have been either, Roger or co-workers who know her... and a couple of her friends. I asked her if she gets annoyed by them, and she says that she just ignores them now.

      I've never had the chai latte, but it sounds yummy!!

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  5. That's smart of you to think about the financial consequences of having a child. I relate. Because we spoil our cat so much we cannot afford to adopt another cat and give two cats the same life of luxury LOL!

    When I was younger I hated when people would ask when Adam and I are getting married. Now they just assume we are married so I get to avoid that! I also hated/hate when people would ask when we are going to have kids. When we would say never, I really hated when they would tell me I was going to change my mind and want kids! Like Megan said though, the older I get the less likely people are to ask or tell me these things, thankfully!

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    1. Ja ja!! I love that you can't afford to have another cat to give them the same luxury life!! that is awesome!

      I don't like that women's value are attached to having children, very few ask those questions of Men.

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