So, I went a little crazy... I seem to lose my head when I think about doing races. On Wednesday I had been thinking of doing the SMT Turkey Trot, I had done it the year before and had really enjoyed it, even with all the slush and mud around from the snow storm the night before. The day was to be a sunny cool morning, perfect for a 3.1 mile run.
I went and registered for the run, because registration is only offered up until the night before. The fire hall was full of people! Volunteers, runners picking up their bibs and shirts, runners registering for the run, this year I even saw the table for Fleet Feet Mechanicsburg! This year they were offering a free 1/2 mile kids run, which I registered my son for.
I had told Roger that I wanted to do the race, but that I would need his help keeping an eye on my son, to which he didn't seem very excited about. Now... that is what made me lose most interest on doing this race.
Last year I did this race because my son was with his dad, and I go into a deep strange funk when he is not with me on Holidays. Thanksgiving is the hardest, because he gets to be away for so many days and it feels like everybody is with their loved ones. The race last year was huge! there were so many people, and the atmosphere was very energetic!
So, back to my son and Roger watching him. Roger has agreed to watch my son for two races, The Fredrericksen Library Loop and the Hero Run, for which they both did the 1 mile fun walk/ run. Roger offered to watch him for both, I didn't ask.. I know that Roger is not his father and the only person responsible for finding somebody to keep an eye on my son is me. I asked my sisters or brothers to keep an eye on my son for the Kennett Run, The Color Run (both of them) and the Hershey Half marathon. Roger didn't complain about keeping an eye on him, but he did lament having to get up early on a holiday and having to wait in the car with my son. I knew at that moment, that my son would have to run with me, or I would not be doing the race at all.
I woke up early on Thursday and looked at my race clothes. It was 6:45, and I thought that if I could convince my son to get up, come with me, get him breakfast and a nice cup of warm milk, Roger would come along with us, even if it was just to watch us. But I also knew that if I couldn't convince my son to even get out of the house, we will be staying in. I was ready for that, in fact, I was expecting that.
I went into my son's room, and cuddled up to him. He grabbed me and held me close to him. I warmed up next to him and started to close my eyes, and right at that moment my son woke up and jumped off the bed. I went after him, and said "Hey honey, I signed up for a race, and I want you to come with me and run". His immediate response was "No". So I took all that hope, and expectation and wrap them nicely back into my heart. I would not be running those 3.1 miles today along with 3,000 others. I grabbed my blanket, sat down next to my son and turned on the TV. No regrets.