Difficult Questions My Son Is Asking
Last week, at the Friday Five post, I wrote a very vague statement about my son is asking difficult questions, but I didn't go into detail. I figured this topic needed its own post.
I have said here before that I want to raise a boy who is confident, smart, compassionate and woke. I also want to answer his questions with as much honesty as I wanted as a kid. So far, I'm not doing very well... read on to find out where I have failed him.
My son's question: What is Suicide?
My answer: Suicide is when a person takes their own life, because the sadness or anxiety in them is causing them too much pain, and they can't stand to live with that pain anymore.
His follow up question: How do they do it? how do they kill themselves?
My answer: It all depends on the person, some take pills, some jump off high places, and other ways ( I didn't want to describe more, because it felt strange to be telling my 9 year old how people kill themselves ) And I also said that when he got older, we could read books on suicide together to learn more about it.
My son's Question : What is Sexy?
Me: Sexy is a word that men and women use to compliment each other, is another way of saying somebody is pretty, or cute. BUT sexy is a word that people only use then they are older, and when they want to kiss that person... but not their parents, siblings or relatives. NEVER for anybody who is related to you!
It's also a word that grown ups use to be flirtatious and playful.
His follow up question : Are you sexy?
Me: ** turning bright red ** that is not a question for me to answer about myself, and I already told you, that you can't say that word about your mom.
My son's question: Why is that man calling us rapist and criminals? (the dreadful moment when 45 announced he was running for president and called Mexicans Rapist and criminals)
My answer: Because that man is ignorant and hateful. We are not criminals, he is wrong about Mexicans.
My Son's question: Why didn't you tell me that all the characters of Les Mis Died?
My answer : because when you started to watch the show (the concert), you were only 6 and I didn't feel it appropriate for me to tell you that everybody died.
His follow up statement: I could have handled it, and you didn't let me make that choice.
I remember asking my mom the What is Sexy question when I was a kid, she told me to never say that word in front of her again... so maybe I am doing just a tiny bit better?
What difficult questions do kids in your life ask you?
What questions did you ask your parents?
I have said here before that I want to raise a boy who is confident, smart, compassionate and woke. I also want to answer his questions with as much honesty as I wanted as a kid. So far, I'm not doing very well... read on to find out where I have failed him.
My son's question: What is Suicide?
My answer: Suicide is when a person takes their own life, because the sadness or anxiety in them is causing them too much pain, and they can't stand to live with that pain anymore.
His follow up question: How do they do it? how do they kill themselves?
My answer: It all depends on the person, some take pills, some jump off high places, and other ways ( I didn't want to describe more, because it felt strange to be telling my 9 year old how people kill themselves ) And I also said that when he got older, we could read books on suicide together to learn more about it.
My son's Question : What is Sexy?
Me: Sexy is a word that men and women use to compliment each other, is another way of saying somebody is pretty, or cute. BUT sexy is a word that people only use then they are older, and when they want to kiss that person... but not their parents, siblings or relatives. NEVER for anybody who is related to you!
It's also a word that grown ups use to be flirtatious and playful.
His follow up question : Are you sexy?
Me: ** turning bright red ** that is not a question for me to answer about myself, and I already told you, that you can't say that word about your mom.
My son's question: Why is that man calling us rapist and criminals? (the dreadful moment when 45 announced he was running for president and called Mexicans Rapist and criminals)
My answer: Because that man is ignorant and hateful. We are not criminals, he is wrong about Mexicans.
My Son's question: Why didn't you tell me that all the characters of Les Mis Died?
My answer : because when you started to watch the show (the concert), you were only 6 and I didn't feel it appropriate for me to tell you that everybody died.
His follow up statement: I could have handled it, and you didn't let me make that choice.
I remember asking my mom the What is Sexy question when I was a kid, she told me to never say that word in front of her again... so maybe I am doing just a tiny bit better?
What difficult questions do kids in your life ask you?
What questions did you ask your parents?
I think you gave perfectly age appropriate answers!
ReplyDeleteOne time we were singing a song in 3rd grade music that was in the "Bollywood" style and there was a picture of the Taj Mahal in the music. The students were curious about the Taj Mahal, so I went on the History Channel website and found a short video about it because all I knew about the building is that it was in India and that a man had it built for his wife. I didn't watch the video first because it was in my plan to show it, but when kids ask good questions, I want good answers. And I knew the history channel was reputable. Well, in the video they mentioned that the man's wife died in childbirth. Of course a student asked me how that happens. I said well there are a lot of ways it could happen and it happened a lot more a long time ago because medicine wasn't as advanced AND people had more children. People don't have as many children now. Then students asked WHY people don't have as many children. I said well because nowadays people can decide that they either don't want to have children or they don't want to have as many. Then questions on HOW they decide that and DON'T WORRY I DID NOT TELL THEM ABOUT BIRTH CONTROL but obviously if they were my own kids I would tell them about birth control but I'm not gonna go into it with the students hahahaha.
Talking to kids is like eating a box of chocolates, you don't know what the are going to ask next! And they have very valid questions!
DeleteI did a talk at my son's class before Christmas, about immigration and coming to live in the USA, and the questions they asked were not ones that I would have expected!
So, I don't know how you deal with kids all day, never knowing what they are going to ask next!
How old is your son?
ReplyDeleteOh, and tell him to never use the "S" word in front of teachers either....lol
I am kind of jealous that you have your son to have these talks with. I know they can be difficult but oh so precious!
My son is 9.
DeleteYou are so right! I'm going to review using the S word at school!!
You handled those so well! He sounds pretty mature for his age too. The comment about how he could have handled knowing about the truth in Les Mis at 6 is impressive!
ReplyDeleteDang you did a great job answering his questions in an appropriate way. I wouldn't have known how to answer the sexy question at all!!!
ReplyDeleteI am so frustrated that your son had to ask you why the president said what he said about Mexicans. It actually is making me tear up right now because I can't stand that your son has to ask those questions or face that kind of criticism from anyone, especially the president. Also I'm extra emotional and probably PMSing but this is really just so upsetting. You are right, trump's remarks are so ignorant and hateful!!!
I have been flipping through Love Warrior and there is a whole section on how Glennon explains sexy to her daughters, and how she used to see it vs. how she sees it now. It was so interesting because she aligns it with confidence and power, as opposed to sex. I think you did a good job answering some tough questions...parenting can't be easy! I'm so sorry your kiddo is hearing such hateful stuff in the world though, from the man who's supposed to be our leader, no less.
ReplyDelete