I Know You Are... But What Am I?
Growing up, I used to come home upset from school, because one kid or another said something mean. "Your grandman is fat! Your Mom is dumb! Your shoes are ugly! " I used to cry to my mom that my grandma was not fat and that she wasn't dumb, and that I wanted this kids to stop telling me this things. My mom would say, "ignore them, and walk away. They are just trying to mess with you!" This was no comfort to my 8 year old self.
Now that my son is in school, and he has been in the receiving side of kid's unwelcome comments. I wouldn't say bullying, but I would say normal kid harassment, which is just part of growing up and learning to resolve conflict. And I tell him, like my own mother told me "Ignore them, and walk away!" but unlike my mother, I also have been known to offer less than helpful commentary to his stories. As in the stories below
The 10 year old Nutritionist
My son: Mom, Natalie * ( *names were changed to protect the guilty) told me that my lunch is not healthy.
Me: Oh, how old is Natalie?
MS: she is 10
Me: oh wow! Natalie is the youngest nutritionist I have ever heard of! Where did she get her degree?
MS: What is a nutritionist ?
Me: A person who goes to school to studies how people should eat better/healthier food.
MS: Natalie is not a nutritionist
Me : oh, then tell her to not comment on the health levels of your lunch, and to worry about her own food.
Picture Day
Me: How about wearing your leather jacket for picture day.
MS: No, Rick* says it's stupid.
Me : Who is Rick?
MS: The mean kid from after school program
Me : Rick is a Jerk, and Rick is jealous of how awesome you look in your leather jacket. Rick wishes he had the confidence to rock a leather jacket as much as you rock yours! Rick doesn't know what is cool and what is lame, because he is for sure lame.
MS: You really think so?
Me: I know it for a fact!
MS: Ok, I'll wear my leather jacket.
I love those pictures! He looks so precious in his pleather jacket!
Your Mom is Fat
MS: Mom, somebody told me you were fat today.
Me: oh yeah? What did you tell them?
MS: I told them that you are not, that you run a lot.
Me: next time tell them that I'm fat because I eat mean kids for lunch.
MS: Mom! don't eat kids!
Me: They started it!
Why are kids so mean?
Did anybody pick on you in school?
What would you tell your younger self about other jerk kids?
Ughhh it must be so hard to be a parent and know that other kids can and do say mean things to them! I guess we all went through it, right? Sometimes I felt pretty shitty but ultimately it gave me a thick skin, which is really a gift, right?
ReplyDeleteIt is pretty awful to hear the things other kids have told my son... but like you said, it gives us ticker skin, which we need for when we get older.
DeleteShit. So much to say. Okay so yeah, I remember being bullied in grade 8 and it was AWFUL...but not as painful, not even close to how I felt when I knew my own kids were getting picked on at school. My oldest son Jake (he's almost 17) got really bullied in grade one and two. I'd pull up at the school and spy on him during recess and I'd sit there and cry and cry while I watched him walk around by himself. Of course, he got through it and he's very well liked now but it sure did a number on his spirit. Being a kid is so hard but I swear, being a parent is a million times harder. There is nothing worse than knowing and seeing our kids in pain.
ReplyDeleteYou nailed it! having one's kid coming home saying how awful kids are is heart wrenching!
DeleteI'm sorry that Jake got bullied in school! I think his spirit might have been hurt, but he had you behind him to support him and be there for him.
Seeing our kids in pain is awful! for me, I just want to find that kid that causes stress to my kid and make that kid cry! which would be bad, but they need to be told to back off!
Oh man, Suzy's story ^^^ just broke my heart!
ReplyDeleteAs a middle school teacher I can attest that yes, kids can be mean. It makes you really appreciate when you have a few great kids that are polite!
Do you find yourself telling kids to stop being so mean to each other?
DeleteI know, Suzy's story brought tears to my eyes!
Kids can be jerks...but in their defense, I think a lot of it is insecurity. I think they pick on the kids they envy in hopes of making themselves feel less inferior. Still, it sucks to be on the receiving end.
ReplyDeleteMom of the year! I love that you give him understand why those mean comments are wrong. Or in the case of eating kids for lunch, explaining why the kid was right!!!! HAHAHAH!
ReplyDelete