I am So TIRED
I feel that I have only been talking about running this week, as if that is all I ever do! Ja ! Running is only about 5% of what I do in one week.
I have been really busy at work, home and driving to this places. Got hit with double audits this week, and with training a new employee. If I could have somebody else drive me around, I would have so much free time to read and nap.
So this week I had a close emotional meltdown at work... nothing work related, of course. I received an email from my son's teacher reminding me and his father, that we are both good for nothing, shitty parents who send their kid to school without his glasses and without his reading log... Well, she didn't say the "good for nothing, shitty parents" part, but that is how I read it.
I got really angry, because I have asked his father to pack the glasses every single day last week, and asked him to drop them off at school 3 times just last week! and now here we were, being called shitty parents, sending our son to school without everything he needs to learn, WORSE, without his glasses!
My first instinct was to reply to the teacher and rat out my son's Dad. Tell her that I was a good mom, that we have been reading, that I have been gently reminding his father about the glasses every day for the last week, and that he has ignored those reminders. But then I realized it was also my fault, for not driving to his house and demanding the glasses myself.
So I went for a long walk, and cried. Because as hard as I am trying to be the best mom I can be, but I'm not willing to kick down a door for my son's glasses. I want to keep the peace with his father, and I don't make demands, but that affects my son and his schooling. But I also told myself that I cannot depend on him to help me take care of him, that this, like many other things in my life, I have to take care of myself.
I got back and emailed the teacher the truth. The glasses and reading log got lost on the transition between houses, and that I will make myself a note to double and triple check for this things at transitions moving forward. Even if I have to tattoo a pair of glasses to my hand! And that I will be buying my son an additional pair of glasses. Because my son's education is very important!
I'm reversing this to DRAFT in a few days, I can't risk my son finding this in later years, but I needed to get it out of my system to get over it.
I have been really busy at work, home and driving to this places. Got hit with double audits this week, and with training a new employee. If I could have somebody else drive me around, I would have so much free time to read and nap.
So this week I had a close emotional meltdown at work... nothing work related, of course. I received an email from my son's teacher reminding me and his father, that we are both good for nothing, shitty parents who send their kid to school without his glasses and without his reading log... Well, she didn't say the "good for nothing, shitty parents" part, but that is how I read it.
I got really angry, because I have asked his father to pack the glasses every single day last week, and asked him to drop them off at school 3 times just last week! and now here we were, being called shitty parents, sending our son to school without everything he needs to learn, WORSE, without his glasses!
My first instinct was to reply to the teacher and rat out my son's Dad. Tell her that I was a good mom, that we have been reading, that I have been gently reminding his father about the glasses every day for the last week, and that he has ignored those reminders. But then I realized it was also my fault, for not driving to his house and demanding the glasses myself.
So I went for a long walk, and cried. Because as hard as I am trying to be the best mom I can be, but I'm not willing to kick down a door for my son's glasses. I want to keep the peace with his father, and I don't make demands, but that affects my son and his schooling. But I also told myself that I cannot depend on him to help me take care of him, that this, like many other things in my life, I have to take care of myself.
I got back and emailed the teacher the truth. The glasses and reading log got lost on the transition between houses, and that I will make myself a note to double and triple check for this things at transitions moving forward. Even if I have to tattoo a pair of glasses to my hand! And that I will be buying my son an additional pair of glasses. Because my son's education is very important!
I'm reversing this to DRAFT in a few days, I can't risk my son finding this in later years, but I needed to get it out of my system to get over it.
I am SO sorry you have to deal with this. As I was reading, I was shaking my head and trying to imagine what you go through to make sure your son has everything he needs, yet you can't control what goes on at his dad's house. I am sorry you have to question your parenting. I know you are an awesome mom because I read your blog and I can tell how much you CARE. I think buying another pair of glasses is a great solution and I hope it doesn't break the bank. I know ideally it would be best if you didn't have to do that and his dad could just freaking make sure he goes to school with his glasses!
ReplyDeleteI know it's your son's teacher's job to reach out to make sure your son is prepared to learn, but HOPEFULLY the teacher can learn to be a little nicer when contacting parents! I mean, it is good to let you know that the glasses aren't getting to school (because I bet his dad won't tell you) but the teacher doesn't have to be mean about it. That doesn't solve anything.
I know I "only" teach music, but my 4th graders play the recorder and I expect them to remember it on music class days. I try to be very understanding if a kid doesn't have it because it got lost in transition between houses. Usually they feel really bad about it but you know what, it's not the kids' fault! I mean, yes they are in 4th grade and they should be responsible, but if you have two houses to deal with that's an extra responsibility on top.
This is sort of off topic, but I am drinking sangria and feel like writing more. ;) When I was younger, I was much more impatient with kids. I'm not a mom and don't have the motherly gene (except for when it comes to cats), but as I have gotten older, I have been able to be more patient because I am always telling myself "THIS student is someone's WHOLE WORLD." It helps me to be the best teacher I can be.
Thank you ! I cannot express with words how much it means to me that you are willing to read my random rants and complaints.
DeleteYou are not "just a music teacher" you are a kick butt music teacher, no arguing on that.
I find that this second grade teacher has been a bit harsher than the teacher last year, but it makes sense that as they get older, the kids have to be more responsible.
That is a beautiful thought to have! "This student is someone's whole world!"
I love what Meg wrote too, about "this student is someone's whole world." To be totally honest, I have to remind myself of that every single day in regards to my stepkids. It's not easy sometimes. And yes, I relate to having the dad drop the ball all the time. I don't have enough time or energy to list off all the ways my kids' dad shits the bed over there BUT. He's their dad. I let my kids ream him out themselves so that I can stay out of it (unless it becomes important for me to stand up for them, if that makes sense).
DeleteYes, it makes sense to me.
DeleteYes, I feel I'm constantly fighting the battle of what do I want my son to know about his father and what he has to learn himself.... I was glad that the teacher called us out on the glasses, that gave us both the kick on the butt we needed to get out act together for our son.
Hugs to you Anna! Like Megan said, we KNOW you are a good mom! I'm sorry that certain people are making things difficult for you. I like what Megan said above, about THIS student being someone's whole world! That is a great thought for every teacher to have!
ReplyDeleteThank you Meranda! Thank up for taking the time to read my rant! I really and sincerely appreciate it.
DeleteI'm sorry you had to deal with this stress! I'm sure the teacher didn't mean to come off so harshly, and maybe your frustration with you son's dad added to the emotional response...I know that sometimes teachers of older students don't understand how a kid can forget something as important as glasses, so they might come off as impatient or rude. (I know I'm guilty of that - when I wore glasses pre-LASIK, I couldn't see without them, so forgetting them was impossible.) I can't imagine how frustrating it is for you not to be able to control how things are done at his dad's house. I hope you're feeling better and things have turned around and been resolved! I think an extra pair of glasses is a great solution.
ReplyDeleteI completely understood where the teacher was coming from... I constantly have to remind myself that my son is now 7 and in second grade and that our expectations of him have to increase.
DeleteBut you are right, what set me off was that his father has been forgetting a lot of things and it's exhausting to not be in control of those things.
thank you Ali!
It is impossible to be perfect! Bu you are right, we do our best and we can't control everything.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words Karen! I appreciate them!